I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize