you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I need water and some morals
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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