With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
