You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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