My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
