It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
