it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
