I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
