So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
