Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
jump out the window naked night went bad
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