Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
