his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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