just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize