I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
