I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
