There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
