What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Congratulations! We have a period
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
