i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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