I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
