Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
