I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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