where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
