Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
