So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
