The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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