May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
