Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
