i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
