I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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