I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
