I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
