wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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