you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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