You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
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I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
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The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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