somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
