don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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