doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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