You're my little dorito
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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