Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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