Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
