I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Randomize
