I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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