Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize