KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
