i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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