My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You ate ashes out of my bong
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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