So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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