I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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