Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
