and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
