Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
