Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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