yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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