Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize