When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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