i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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