The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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