He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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